Every summer for the past eight years has been about the kids. They should be about the kids after all. As their mom, my job is to protect, nurture, and care for them with my whole being. Who am I if not a mom? So here I am in the summer of 2021, vaccinated, not pregnant, not trying to get pregnant, and no fresh new baby (but a toddler or two alongside two very capable kids), and I find myself again searching for my hot mom summer.
Since my husband and I knew we ended the baby-making chapter of our story, I declared 2020 the year that I would be shedding my baby weight, getting fit, getting strong, taking better care of myself, and not always putting myself last. I was going to love myself and be about that hot girl summer. We all know what happened in 2020.
I’m not going to lie, there were some ups and downs to my year because of the pandemic, but all in all, I did some of the things on my list, minus getting a real haircut (self care) — yes, I’m still over here trimming my hair and no, I did not Youtube and attempt the unicorn cut, which was such a craze during lockdown.
Ok, so let’s talk about this “hot girl summer” phrase, coined by a Megan Thee Stallion. She herself tweeted that as being a “Hot Girl is about being unapologetically YOU.” I’ll put the other things she tweeted to the side for now, which were “living your truth” while also “being the life of the party.” More on that in a different post perhaps.
Back to being “unapologetically you.” If this wasn’t a clue for me to get back into the my year gear, I don’t know what is. My first dilemma was finding myself though. Sorry, if you can’t tell I’m a millennial, and you know how we millennials like to find ourselves (mostly through travel, but not in this instance). As I mentioned above, who am I if not a mom? I had to do some digging.
What was I like before being pregnant, before having children? It seems like some archaic time — what up Xanga and MySpace? All jokes aside, when I sit down and think about past summers without kids, I remember how I loved laying at the beach and spending time with my friends and owning hundreds of bathing suits. You think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I’m from Southern California. I loved bikini shopping. I wasn’t the tallest or skinniest, but my skin was always so taught and glowing. I loved romping around the beaches with that sun-kissed tanned skin and wavy hair. (By the way, it wasn’t real. It was a perm.) Whatever happened to that girl? Oh yeah, she became a mom and now has lots of sun spots and loose skin.
As far as hot mom summer goes, finding a bikini these days that enhances the good features and hides the flaws is a bit more challenging, but a tad better after losing a few pounds of baby weight. I’ve not yet reached my physical goals (some progress is better than none) and that loose skin is going nowhere unless I go get a tummy tuck (which won’t be happening, and I will not judge you if you do because I say go for it if it makes you feel more you), but I found that I am exactly in the place I need to be.
Mentally, I’m content with who I am and dare I say, proud of what I’ve achieved so far during this re-do of my year in 2021. What I’ve discovered this year is that I am able to work on myself alongside of doing all the mom things. I take my kids out and give them the best life I can give them (Oh, and I guess I’ll give my husband some credit, too. He’s a wonderful dad and husband.) I’ve put aside time for myself, my husband, and our friends and have babysitters ready to text and call for spontaneous outings and date nights. It’s quite evident I’m finally embracing my own Instagram page instead of always being the woman behind the camera.
While I’m not getting back to a version of myself that I longed to be, I am becoming the woman I want to be. I have found my hot mom summer this year. I hope you find yours, too.