Pregnancy and worrying.
The two almost simultaneously go hand in hand, am I right mamas?
From the moment you find out you’re expecting, there’s an endless list of things to worry about and things NOT to do.
Take your prenatal vitamin every day.
Don’t eat certain fish.
Drink enough water.
Don’t eat certain types of cheese.
Don’t sleep on your back.
Stay away from toxic products and chemicals.
Will my baby be healthy?
The list goes on and on. It’s natural and easy to worry when pregnant. You’re growing a tiny human being inside of you- that’s not something to take lightly. Don’t forget the added worry if you’ve experienced any type of loss before, too – miscarriage, stillborn or infant loss. Take the normal pregnancy worry and multiply it by about 1,000. It’s embedded in our DNA as women to protect and worry about our children- no matter how small.
I know this first hand as I’ve been pregnant five times. You would think with each pregnancy I would worry less as I gained more experience and confidence… but in my case? Not true. Not one bit. From the moment I see that positive test, I worry about miscarriage. This fear became an unexpected and heart wrenching reality when we lost our fourth pregnancy early on. And talk about getting pregnant AFTER that miscarriage — it robbed the innocent bliss and joy of pregnancy. I worried so much about each HCG blood draw (and there were a lot of those). I worried every time I felt OK and not pregnant. I worried daily if this would be a viable pregnancy. If the baby was healthy. And don’t even get me started on how panicked I was before the anatomy scan.
I may still worry, and I believe a lot of these fears are common and rational, but I want to tell you as a mama to three babies earth side, one baby in the womb, and one angel baby, there are five things to absolutely STOP worrying about when you are pregnant. They are just NOT worth it.
- Your Physical Appearance – OK full disclosure here, you guys – I’m still working on this one! So many things are changing on you physically as your baby grows and your pregnancy progresses. Your belly. Your boobs. Your skin. Your hair. The number on the scale. But here’s the thing. You’re performing a miracle — growing a person inside of you, and that’s an amazing and beautiful accomplishment. I’m not even here to tell you it will all go back to normal after the baby is born because that hasn’t been the case for me. BUT, just remember. For every mom out there who hates her stretch marks – there’s a woman out there dying to have the chance to have them.
- The Perfect Labor/Birth Plan – Labor and delivery is an interesting thing. We can plan so much, create the most amazing and detailed birth plan on pretty paper, but the truth is anything can happen. It is what it is. I am absolutely all for educating yourself and advocating for yourself and your baby, but just remember certain things can’t be planned. Know all of the possibilities and options so you can make informed decisions. Beyond that, take a deep breath and trust your doctor and your body. You’ve got this.
- Other People’s Opinions/Comments – People love to make comments regarding pregnancy/labor/birth/babies. Not everyone is going to agree with every decision you make. No matter what decision you make or plan to make, someone will always disagree. Epidural? Wimp. Unnatural. Natural birth? Tree hugging crunchy mom. Just remember this is YOUR baby, YOUR body. Do what is best for YOUR baby, YOUR body, YOUR family.
- Following Every Single Pregnancy “Rule”- Everyone is going to have a different opinion here, but I truly believe it’s not worth stressing about every single do and not do in pregnancy. So you ate a deli meat sandwich? Don’t worry. Forgot your prenatal today? It’s OK! Ate tuna more than 2x this week? Don’t stress. Your bath was a little warmer than lukewarm? IT’S OK! The truth is a vast majority of babies are born healthy, despite any harmless “rules” that may have been broken. And remember, half of these “rules” didn’t even exist when our moms were pregnant with us.
- About Being A Perfect Mom- Chances are if you are worried about being a good mom, if you have what it takes, can you love another child as much as your first, you already are a good mom! You will figure it out as you go. Don’t worry about knowing it all before baby is born. The truth is, our babies teach us a lot about life and motherhood as we are teaching them about life. Just love them, be careful about the important stuff and the rest will fall into place. You will figure it out together.
Pregnancy doesn’t have to be scary. There will be plenty of things to worry about in the 18 years ahead. Try to relax, let your baby and body do its job and soak in the miracle of the life growing inside of you. It will be over before you know it.
