I’ve always been a “girly-girl.” The kind who grew up having bows in her hair everyday and embraced any opportunity to wear a fancy dress. (The latter is still true.) My father has legit OCD about cleanliness, so I was never allowed to get dirty. Bugs? Forget it! I can handle a ladybug and roly poly, that’s about it. While I’ve always enjoyed catching fireflies, as a grown woman in my 30s, I’ll still ask someone else to remove a spider. I like sports, but would rather be immersed in my world of dolls and fashion.
Funny enough, I always knew two boys would come first for me. I was actually super excited about it.But when I was pregnant with my first son, I often wondered what we would bond over interest-wise. As you can tell, I assumed all the cliches and was close-minded about my focus. As if girls couldn’t love bugs and boys wouldn’t play with dolls. As if those were the things that mattered at all in parenting.
My boys and I, we’ve taught each other many things, and other things we figure out together. Mostly, they push me out of my comfort zone. My preschooler is actually afraid of bugs, which has served as an opportunity for us both in lessons of being brave. When I tell him that bugs are no big deal, I have to practice what I preach and not overreact about them. (I’ve been known to dig a bug or two out of my toddler’s mouth, because nothing makes him happier than trying to eat the inedible. It was definitely not my favorite, but I did it, and my oldest was so proud of me. Worth it!)
And the dirt. Big Brother constantly comes home after school filthy from recess, with dirt on his face and clothes. “That’s ok!”, I tell him, cringing a little on the inside. But both my boys also enjoy shopping (I traded my bows for ball caps), household chores, and cooking. I don’t expect my husband to avoid these things, so I’m not sure why I thought my sons would.
Whether you’re a girly-girl or tomboy really doesn’t matter at all, as a mom to boys or girls. I learned rather quickly that kids are kids, and at their very core, boys and girls just want love and attention. They want to spend time with you, and do things together. The actual activity isn’t all that important. Both parties just want to build a relationship, so make the time and effort to learn and do what interests each other. I have built some pretty solid common ground with my boys just sharing in what they enjoy and showing them what Mommy likes. If they practice kindness, avoid doing harm, and respect others’ boundaries, I’m ok with the rumble-tumble, noise and mess that comes with the territory.
In our house, I’m outnumbered. Husband, two boys, and a male dog. The testosterone is strong, but I wouldn’t change a thing. The responsibility of raising boys to become men, is a big one. I’m sure I would say the same about raising little girls into women, if my cards were a little different. I think both are important, but can only speak from experience. There is so much to enjoy about having little boys. They may roughhouse and delight over the volume of bodily functions, but because of Mommy (girly or not), they learn the need for gentleness and compassion.
Being a girly boy mom doesn’t mean I give up any part of me that I thought I’d share with a little girl of my own. In our house, we do it all. We build blocks, laugh at loud belching (but then say “excuse me”), collect rocks, ride all the trains, name all the dinosaurs, bake cookies, shop ‘til we drop, have dance parties, play dress up, and more. It’s a wild ride in a house full of boys, but I sure do love it.
