I recently turned 40 and, as birthdays often do, it made me to stop for a few minutes and take stock of where I am in my life. I have never been one to dread my birthday. In fact, it is my favorite time of the year, and I normally do to my due diligence and stretch out the celebrations for at least one month. I mean, you are going to turn older one way or the other. So why not make it really fun? That said, 40 is a big birthday and it definitely made me pause for a few minutes before hitting “send” on my birthday plans.
And that’s because I am leaving a decade that has been my favorite so far. During my 30s, I got married, had two kids, moved into a new house in a new city, advanced in my career, changed careers, kept lifelong friends and made amazing new ones. My 30s brought along some of my most frustrating, tough times as I quickly learned that the elusive work/life “balance” everyone talks about, does not really exist. It’s the decade that brought about challenges in our marriage as we tried to navigate out of our freewheeling life to one with the kids. Heck, we are STILL trying to nail that one. And, holy moly, why do people not talk about THAT transition more?
I became much more self-assured and confident in my 30s. I finally recognized and respected my worth in my career. I knew when to keep pushing, when to stand my ground, when to fight back and when it just was not that big of a deal. I figured out when I needed to change careers for my family, felt confident when it came to asking for more money and found some amazing mentors both personally and professionally.
My 30s also delivered the need for blacker coffee, skirted swimsuits, expensive eye cream that likely has made zero difference and Spanx. All the Spanx.
So what’s next? What will 40 bring? As I often tell my close friends, my own personal “Give a Sh*t Factor” goes WAY down the older I get. And I love that. It is one of my favorite things about getting older. So I got a haircut and it’s a little shorter than I like? Who cares? It will grow. So-and-so made a passive aggressive comment about something I did? Whatever. That person must be having a bad day and is clearly in a worse headspace than I am. We didn’t get invited out with friends one night? Sweet! I’d rather sit on my couch and have a beer by myself anyway!
For me, getting older brings clarity about what is really important. I am hoping my 40s will bring more of that. This will also be the decade where my daughters will do a lot of growing up. When it is time for the big 5-0, I’ll have two teenage girls, which is terrifying. My 40s will be crazy busy and packed with running them around to all kinds of activities. It is going to be stressful and rewarding at the same time. I know I will keep recognizing how thankful I am for my parents and how they raised me because I am making every effort to raise my children the same way. The same can be said for my friends. I have found my tribe over the past 40 years of my life, and I am not letting go of any of them.
Of course my 40s will undoubtedly bring about even more eye cream, more reluctant focus on trying to eat well and hopefully more vacations and craft beer.
So farewell, 30s! You’ve been amazing, scary and eventful, and I would not change a thing. And 40s? You have a lot to live up to. So let’s get this party started!
