As I often tell my offspring, life isn’t always fair, and it often doesn’t go the way we want/expect it to go.
To my kids, an unfair life looks like a lack of suitable snacks in the house, one sibling getting perceived special treatment, me asking them to pick up their fire-hazard of a bedroom, or asking them to clear their dishes after a meal.
Since launching into adulthood, I’ve rarely thought something about my life was “unfair,” but there have been plenty of times things haven’t gone as I’d planned, and it’s made me a little grumpy. Little things like Starbucks being closed the one week I was up before the sun, and big things like living in a place I didn’t really want to live.
When I was a newlywed I found myself living in a place I was struggling to love. I wasn’t making as many friends as I’d hoped, and the winters were miserable and depressing. It was clear we weren’t moving anytime soon, so I made a decision to bloom where I was planted, and found my place volunteering with some youth. I bloomed under that new found purpose, and those girls bloomed, too.
When I found out we were expecting triplets, I panicked a bit. “How the heck am I supposed to do this?!” OK, I panicked a lot. By the time those baby boys had arrived though, I had resolved to take it one day and thing at a time. If something didn’t work, or stopped working, then we’d switch it up. I was determined to bloom in this new place I was planted! I don’t do things perfectly, but I gave myself some grace for the screw-ups (there were, and still are, plenty), and figured out a new way to make things work.
When having my preemies meant spending 7 months on lock-down at home (hello, RSV season), I was not a happy camper. I thought I might go crazy! Know where I bloomed during that time in my life? Online. Message boards, instant message, blogging, and eventually Facebook – they were all my lifeline and a place I could share and encourage other moms. I bloomed in that virtual world, and it fed my soul.
As my babies grew, I found myself planted in a mom’s group where I bloomed under the cover of a safe and welcoming place, a place I could share my own experiences and heart and receive the same from other amazing women. I’ve done a lot of blooming and growing there over the last eight years!
Life isn’t always “fair,” nor does it go the way we expect it to go. I find the old adage “life is what you make it” to be true. Life is going to throw you curve balls, especially during motherhood – will you say “oh well” and figure out how to bloom in that new place, or will you shrivel and shrink back? We would want our own children to bloom wherever they are planted, and we should want the same for ourselves. Show your children how to bloom in this life, and while life won’t be all sunshine and roses, it will seem more beautiful to you!
