Everyone Has an Opinion. Does It Really Matter?

Breast milk vs. formula

Exclusively breast fed vs. bottle fed

Cesarean birth  vs. vaginal birth

Vaccinate vs. anti-vaccine

Baby wear vs. no baby wearing

Cry it out vs. not cry it out

This is my list of things at just the beginning of motherhood. The things people use to judge you. The things we inadvertently use to judge other mothers.

Be honest. You do it.

And we all need to stop.

But the list only magnifies as the kids get older, as the expectations we put on ourselves get higher, and as the desire for growth gets deeper.

parenting choices

You have kids, then the choices start happening…

The choice to stay home or go to work.

The choice about what friendships to pursue and which ones need to be let go.

The choice to co-sleep or not.

The choice to gain deeper perspective with your spouse and grow stronger though all of parenthood’s daily daunting tasks or slowly drift away and go on separate paths. 

Then, as the kids get older, we’re faced with choices about where to send them to school, what neighborhood to live in, where to go to church or to go to church at all.

All of the choices –especially with social media– can have my head spinning in a million directions. Which one is the right one? What if I make the wrong one?

Some of it matters, yes.

But some of it simply doesn’t matter, y’all. It just doesn’t matter.

That’s one of my biggest struggles not only as a parent, but as a human. I worry too much about what other people think. I’m a people pleaser and problem solver. I want people to be delighted about the choices I make. I like getting a “pat on the back” when I’ve done something well.

But if I’m going to teach my kids anything about this life–it’s that no matter WHAT choice you make, people will always have an opinion.

As much as I love to keep up with what’s happening in the world today, most of the time I just feel like it’s “official gossip.” I think about people who are in the public eye — authors, athletes, celebrities, politicians, etc — they make one bad choice and they are most likely going to be blown up by criticism condemning them for that choice.

Thank God I’m not famous. Haha!

I have a hard enough time choosing meals for my family.

While there are plenty of choices to make on a daily basis, I want to develop a steadfast spirit deep down in my soul that refuses to care so much about the criticism.

Because, let’s be honest, my kids each French fries sometimes, I use technology at my house, and I bribe them with a sugary “treat” if they eat all of their dinner. It’s called balance.

After reading this blog post from a fellow mommy blogger, I felt empowered to dig deep in my soul to determine what others’ opinions about me really mean.

Do they really impact my life? Or are those opinions just noise? When I lay my head down at night, can I control it? Or do I need to put on my grown up pants on and forget about it? Most importantly, how does someone’s opinion directly affect myself and my family?

Life is simply too short. We only get one. So live it fully. Live it boldly. Be honest with yourself each morning and speak truths to your innermost being. Not the kind of truths that tell you about the pile of dishes staring at you from last night, but rather the truths about yourself as a mother, as a wife, as a person, as a friend. Sometimes the conversations we have with ourselves are the hardest ones to lean into and also the hardest to let go.

Be kind to yourself. Everyone has an opinion, but does it really matter?

Kelly Burnison
Kelly is a wife, teacher, and mom of three. She has a very active 5 year old son, Banks, and 3 year old twin girls, Kate and Hayden. Originally a Wichita, KS native, she moved to Kansas City in 2010. After marrying her husband, Shaun, in 2013, they wasted no time starting a family. Having three kids in 2 years takes quite the amount of patience and task mastering. In between picking up toys, chasing monsters, playing in the dirt, potty training, singing songs and fixing meals that her kids don't eat, she loves exercising, coffee dates, wine, and binge watching the latest TV drama series. The busy-ness of life is what keeps her going, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. When life calms down and a date night ensues, Kelly and Shaun enjoy trying new restaurants in the KC area!