For Your Amusement

Suspended Roller Coaster2When we began our investigation into the world of adoption, we quickly learned that this journey would not be a walk in the park.  To embark on the adventure that is adoption is to get in line at the tallest roller coaster with the most twists and turns.  In fact, it’s probably the kind of roller coaster that leaves your feet dangling and spins you upside down inside a corkscrew or two.  The funny thing about that kind of roller coaster is that you don’t see a whole lot of moms in line at those things.  Moms are the one’s sitting on the bench near the ride’s exit holding your half-eaten hot dog and bright blue cotton candy.  It’s a safe place; I like that bench.

Despite my dislike of amusement park rides that make a person dizzy and nauseous, I was willing to get in line for this one.  Why?  Because at the end of it, I see a little girl in my arms.  I see pig tails and twirling; I see tiny toes dancing on her father’s shoes.  The promise of a future with a daughter to bless our home is enough to make me sign up for all kinds of craziness.

So, where are we at on this roller coaster ride of ours?  Since we have no idea how long or winding this journey will be, it is hard to say.  Out of the more than 5,000 views on our adoption profile, we have had a couple of possibilities on the horizon; specifically, two different mothers thinking about placing their unborn child with us for adoption.  In each instance, I let my hopes soar far above the clouds.  I drove full steam ahead towards any hope of a little girl, preparing and praying that we would be ready to welcome our daughter home.  Thus far, we have had two disappointments to face – two instances in which we were “expecting” one minute and “not expecting” the next minute.  I knew, in both cases, that it was risky to get my hopes up.  I knew that I was opening myself up to hurt if things didn’t work out, but I honestly don’t know how to do this any other way.  If you were searching for your child, wouldn’t you pursue every possibility with all that was in you?  I am afraid that I just don’t know how to be guarded.  I wish I could embark on this journey like Captain Kirk and simply shout, “shields up!”  Unfortunately, I have no shield for my emotions on the subject of adoption.  Our latest disappointment left me grieving.  I felt as though I had suffered a loss – one which required a bit of mourning and a lot of Oreo’s.  One minute, a baby was coming in March; the next minute, the birth mother was deciding to single parent.  It was quite the roller coaster!

The moment you announce that you are hoping to adopt, adoption horror stories come out of the woodwork.  As a result, I am not at all surprised by the ups and downs of this journey.  When I bought my ticket, I knew that I was about to be put through the wringer.  Still, I have a firm knowledge that a downward turn simply means that we are gaining momentum for the climb ahead.  Like a roller coaster, the wait is long and the twists and turns will be numerous.  But, at the end, it will all be worth it and we’ll have quite the story to tell.  For now, I am thankful for the twists and turns that we have to navigate.  I am grateful for the trials that make us stronger and for the motivation that they give us to make it over the next big climb.  We are clinging to our faith and praying for a miracle that our adoption profile will fall into the hands (or the inbox) of just the right person.  We are still gathering information about adoption, learning about adoptive parenting, and working to make our home a happy place wherein children may dwell.

I know that while a mother’s favorite place may not be in line at the Tilt-a-Whirl, motherhood itself is quite the ride.  How do you brave life’s challenges with all its twists and turns – with arms in the air, or holding on for dear life?

Emily is the happy wife of a fantastic dentist and the mother of three amazing boys ages 11, 8, and 5. Their family moved to Kansas City in 2006 and they have fallen in love with this jewel of the Midwest. Emily has her degree in Graphic Design from the University of Missouri – St. Louis and is passionate about family, art, children’s literature, party planning, gardening, food (namely dark chocolate), and service in her community. She is part of the largest women’s organization in the world, Relief Society, and is very active in her church. Their family has just begun the journey to and through adoption, and she is excited to share this experience with our readers. Her situation is unique in that their family is pursuing an independent adoption, without the use of an agency. They are hoping to add a little girl to their forever family. You can find their adoption profile at 3D Adopting.