Relationships are hard. It doesn’t matter if it’s date #3 or 10 years after saying, “I do,” choosing to love someone and spend every day by his or her side does not always come easy. Add children into the mix and the word “hard” doesn’t even begin to cover it. Date nights have now turned into Sam’s Club runs and sexting has been reduced to, “Can you stop and pick up more breast pads on your way home?”
Like a lot of couples, my husband and I are no exception to the relationship struggles that parents often face. Add in the fact that we spend more time apart than together, thanks to his work travel, and sometimes we struggle to find common ground. That’s when a good friend of mine gifted me Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.”
Chapman’s book is an easy-read based on the idea that like the many different languages that people speak, everybody also has a unique language of love. The 5 love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Prior to the start of the book, each partner in the relationship completes an online quiz that reveals your love language. The purpose is to not only help you better understand what you need to have a “full love tank,” but also what your partner needs.
For my husband and I, our love languages test results only cemented our beliefs that, yes, opposites do attract.
My Love Languages
- Receiving Gifts
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
My Husband’s Love Languages
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Receiving Gifts
Throughout the book, Chapman discusses each love language, what it means and how to best “speak” to each language. For example, despite what my husband believed, the Receiving Gifts love language does not mean I require a constant shower of lavish gifts. It means I prefer visual confirmations that he loves me and oftentimes those confirmations can be something as simple as seeing him wear his wedding ring.
In return, I’ve learned that taking time to watch a TV show with my husband, and not multi-tasking while I do it, speaks to his love language.
As partners, being aware of each other’s love languages has helped us feel more connected. It makes the little things that much more special.
Are we perfect? No. Is our relationship still hard? Yes, but we’ll never stop saying, “I love you.”
