Just Take the Trip

My husband and I recently returned from a week long vacation abroad just the two of us. If you’re anything like me, then the mere thought of taking a long trip with your significant other sans kids sends a shock wave of anxiety through your veins. Of course initially it sounds euphoric and amazing. Frolicking around another country for seven days without children OMG YES!!!

But then the reality of what a week away actually entails kicks in and it suddenly seems easier to just put it off. Maybe next year you think, or the year after that. Of course “next year” turns into “for sure in five years” turns into “OK when they graduate from high school…then we’ll go”.

It’s not that you don’t want to go, it’s just that the guilt and money and planning that’s involved can seem overwhelmingly not worth it. Who’s going to want to watch the kids for that long?! Should we really spend that much money on ourselves? What if the kids get sick? What if the cat gets sick? What if we get sick?! (because seriously, someone ALWAYS gets sick) What will we even talk about for that many days?!

Well guess what. I’m here to tell you IT IS WORTH IT. So worth it.

Just take the trip.

After a trying year for our marriage, my husband and I realized we were living in this state of someday. Looking toward the future when things would magically just get better. The kids would be older and more independent and then we would have time to reconnect. Then we would have time to focus on us. What we realized is, a healthy marriage can’t survive in a state of someday. We had to start living in the present.

Over happy hour beers one Friday, we tossed out the idea of a weekend away together. That weekend away slowly and optimistically turned into a week abroad. The multitude of excuses I had in my head on why it wouldn’t work slowly started to get torn down. My Mom would watch the kids. We had enough money saved up to pull it off. We could go during a slow time at work. Before I knew it tickets were booked, and the planning began.  

Instead of being overwhelming, the planning became a way for us to connect. We poured over Pinterest posts on what to see and do in both Iceland and Ireland. We sent each other emails and texts about breweries and restaurants we wanted to check out. For once we were doing something together that didn’t revolve around the kids. Instead we were like giddy little kids ourselves over the excitement. I’ll admit, I had this fear that the trip wouldn’t live up to the expectations we had built after months of planning, but it did.

We had beers while we awaited our delayed flight. We laughed as we attempted to pronounce Icelandic street names. We grinned and gasped in amazement as we explored each and every spot we had on our itinerary. We ate pastries for breakfast and didn’t have to share. We talked over beers without interruption.

We experienced tense moments, and laughed about them later. Of course we missed the kids. We missed them terribly. But we also lived in the moment. We got a small reminder of what our life was like before kids, and realized it’s so much better now with them in it.  

Perhaps all of these things could have been accomplished over a weekend away too, but for us we also got to tackle something on our list of dreams. With the loss of a dear friend recently, I’ve been reminded once again how fragile life truly is. I’m tired of putting things off and saying someday, because we’re not promised tomorrow.

Just take the trip.