Keeping Your Composure During Chaos

Many of us start out each year by making resolutions, defining our “why,” and setting goals. My word of the year for 2020 was “calm.” Little did I know when I chose that word that I would soon be facing office and school closures, and general pandemonium in my life. Even before I found myself in the “COVID-Crisis,” I was working hard on my resolution to be cool, calm, and collected in my daily life.

I tested and tried different strategies. I read books, listened to podcasts, and talked to some of my most trusted “hair and makeup done everyday” friends. Truthfully, I’m a work in progress. I still fly off the handle, snap at my husband, binge eat M&M’s, and make a myriad of other mistakes. However, I am improving and getting better every day with the help of a few strategies. The more that I use these in my daily life, the closer I am to fine.

Write down what you can control and what you can’t. Such a simple exercise, but I have started doing this at least once per week. This way, my list stays updated and relevant, and in the front of my thoughts. However small, add it to your list. It still matters.

Picture your ideal place to spend time, and go to that place in your mind. I didn’t think much of this at first, but the power of visualization is real. You might not be ready to imagine yourself on that cruise or spring break trip you had to cancel. Still, I have created a beautiful place in my mind where the margaritas are flowing, the sun shines all day, and where I can actually be alone! Try it!

Make a playlist of songs that help you feel calm. I can’t emphasize enough how much this has helped me. Your list shouldn’t necessarily be all slow and emotional songs. My list that I continue to add to includes songs from Rent, Dan & Shay, and oldies from Justin Bieber. I’m reminded of the reasons why I am listening to those songs as I fold laundry, try to get some of my day-job work done, and even while I am ignoring my children.

Speaking of ignoring my children, find a door with a lock on it, and take a chill pill. Do. Not. Feel. Guilty. This is totally acceptable, and I really wish I would have done this more when my kids were smaller. They will be fine for a few minutes while you take some deep breaths and harness your chi.

Time helps heal all wounds. If there is one thing that I have learned, it is that sometimes the only way I can process a situation and come to terms with it is after time passes. Will you do me a favor? I want you to think back to the last week or the week before when you were dealing with your first round of major disappointments. How do you feel about them now? They still might hurt a lot, but I bet you feel more composed and calm about how to go about your life with these new challenges. That is good ol’ father time at work.

My daughter recently asked me how many days I had remained calm this year. Can you guess what my answer was? Zero. But that doesn’t mean I can’t keep trying. I have slip-ups often, but they are happening fewer and farther in between. I know I can do this, and I’m not giving up. We need to maintain our composure during the chaos even more than we have needed to before.

My work on my calmness project isn’t done, and I want to hear from you. How do you keep your composure during the chaos? And when all else fails, remember what Nemo said, “Just Keep Swimming!”