I have always wanted a large family. Growing up with only two first cousins, I was envious of others that attended yearly family reunions and had thirteen cousins at their birthday parties. The dream of my own personal zoo train full of children was crushed after three extremely difficult pregnancies, each of which ended in C-section. My husband and I decided that if we were going to continue to grow our family, it might be best to pursue adoption.
Making the decision to adopt was not an easy one for me. I had some very real fears to face regarding this whole experience. What if something goes wrong? What if the birth mother changes her mind? How will we pay for all the expenses related to the adoption? How will I be able to bond with a baby that I didn’t give birth to? How do you ever thank someone for providing you with a little miracle to raise?
How do you teach your children about a subject as serious as adoption when you can’t seem to teach them that peanut butter should not be spread on the television?
Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who is very confident in our decision to adopt. He is reassuring and supportive and he seems to have this wealth of faith in me that I am not certain I deserve. I also have amazing friends and family members who know a thing or two about adoption. I am blessed to have three wonderful nephews who joined our family through adoption. My little sister is the co-chair of the San Diego chapter of Families Supporting Adoption, an adoption support group. She knew just what to say to rest my fears and give me the confidence to start this journey.
Starting anything is tough, except starting into a pack of Oreos – I seem to have no problem there. However, starting to workout, starting to clean your house, starting a homework assignment … all things that are difficult to start on. Finding the motivation to get started is the real challenge. I have learned that starting on this journey may be a bit like deciding to run a marathon (not that I would know, I’ve never run a marathon – that requires serious working out!). People who run marathons often do so because they have a friend or two who supported them in their decision to do something so challenging. Big challenges need big support.
My husband and I have started this course without the use of an adoption agency. At first, I felt uneasy about that decision; how would the right people find us? My faith was renewed, however, when we received 3,600 visits to our online adoption profile within the first month of its launch. We will be hiring an independent case worker to help us with our home study (a home assessment that is required for all who wish to foster or adopt), and we will be using our own adoption attorney. In search of further assistance, I will be researching support groups for adoption in Kansas City and I am eager to share my findings with our friends and readers at Kansas City Moms Blog.
This past weekend, my husband and I were invited to attend a fundraising gala for the Midwest Foster Care and Adoption Association. At the gala, I was able to network with members of their board of directors who are eager to assist anyone looking to adopt. We hope to be able to bring you future posts here at Kansas City Moms Blog which will highlight children who are in need of a forever family.
For now, I am searching for that missing piece – a little girl that we hope will make our family complete – and blogging about all that we’ll do to find her. I am baby-proofing and readying my home and family for a home study. I am sharing our desire to adopt with everyone I meet. I am reading everything I can get my hands on to educate myself about adoption, and I am stocking up on Oreos; chocolate rations are always an important part of any big journey.
I hope you will stop by our profile at 3D Adopting and learn a little more about how we got started on the path to adoption.