Being Present in a Social Media World

Twibeing presenttter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Periscope. Trying to keep up with all of them is exhausting!

I’ve been sucked into social media and gotten so caught up with trying to capture the picture perfect moment for Facebook or Instagram. Then, you know I went straight to editing it, uploading it, and coming up with the perfect caption, so I wasn’t even focused on really being there in the moment with my kids. And who was I really trying to impress? My kids could care less. I know they would rather have me actually talking or interacting with them instead of sharing a moment with the world.

I have such a love/hate relationship with social media. On the one hand, I love seeing pictures of my friends, families and fun memories. And I use it for my business. Plus have you seen all the Snapchat filters? I’m newer to the Snapchat game and the way one of my friends described it perfectly as “real life moments that don’t have to be perfect for a post!” And I can spam my husband with our everyday activities!

Yet on the other hand, I often find myself browsing Facebook and Instagram 100 times a day. Right when I wake up, pouring another cup of coffee, and seeing what’s going on right before we head out the door. And of course not to mention the every-few-hour nursing sessions overnight. Not much happens between 1 and 4 am. Except on election night.

After my daughter was born this past September, I found myself automatically reaching for my phone during our nightly nursing sessions to browse social media. But then what else was I going to do when nursing? I can’t clean the house or do dishes or laundry while nursing. Both my husband and I are so guilty of being glued to our phones when we are doing the bouncing, rocking, walking (aka doing anything to get her to go to sleep in the middle of the night).

It dawned on me one day as I was trying to get my sweet girl to go to sleep for the 1,000th time and I was on my phone that her little eyes were just staring and smiling at me. I was so preoccupied by clicking like or a little heart, that I missed it. I missed that moment! It was then I realized I had to stop. I mean, missing this moment when my newborn is trying to make eye contact and smile at me and I’m not at all in the present. I won’t get that moment back again. Then of course my mom-guilt set in that my kiddo was only going to remember me glued to my phone.

How was I going to stop this? I was like an addict, so I knew I had to put limits on my social media time. I literally was getting nothing out of it. Besides starting to feel a bit down that I didn’t have the picture perfect life that so many people paint. So I set some limits, and I admit it hasn’t been easy. I started out with checking it three or less times a day. And not when my kiddos are around. I don’t want them to always see me on my phone, glued to a screen. And for those middle of the night nursing sessions? I let myself check it then.

Like most things in life, it’s about finding a balance. For me, when I realized I was getting so focused on creating that perfect post and wasn’t paying attention to my newborn making eye contact or actually being present in the moment when my train-loving toddler saw the Union Pacific’s Steam Locomotive for the first time.

Yes I will continue to share our special moments, and some things won’t get posted, but we will create memories that won’t be forgotten.

betht
Beth is a mama to a busy toddler, Benjamin and is expecting a little girl in September of 2016. And she can’t forget their four-legged furry child that barks, Lily! She has been married to her husband, Aaron, since 2008. They are transplants originally from Minnesota but have lived in St. Louis, as well, and have called Prairie Village home since 2012. Most often you can find her in her active-wear, spending her days exploring all Kansas City has to offer with her toddler. Helping people is her passion, whether as a former kindergarten teacher or currently as a part-time health and fitness coach, working with women to improve their overall health and wellness. She loves to get dressed up for a fun night on the town! She enjoys all things fashion, a nice bottle of wine, traveling, and indulging in reality TV (hello Bravo and Bachelor Nation!). You can keep up with her shenanigans at bethtalbott.wordpress.com or follow her on Instagram at @beth_talbott and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/fitmombeth