Shifting Your Holiday Focus

Shifting your holiday focusWife, mom, chef, maid, personal assistant, class mom, event coordinator, dog walker, taxi driver… you name it, we do it.

To add insult to injury, we are constantly asked for favors by our “working mom” friends, because we are… ready for this… stay-at-home moms.

The truth is, our work is never done but that rings true for all of us. For at home-working moms AND out-of-home-working moms. For new moms and seasoned moms. I’m guessing, for ALL women in general.

But, every now and then, we have a minute where we sit down, sip a cup of coffee and think to ourselves, “I’m good. I’ve got it under control. I’m organized, the dishes are done, dinner is in the oven and there are only three loads of laundry left to fold.”

And then, it hits us. THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING!

So where is your focus?

  • Is your focus on pleasing others?
  • Is your focus on a clean house?
  • Is it on the perfect meal?
  • Is it on gift buying that will impress?

Ask yourself this important question: When my children are grown, what will I want them to remember?

Let me share with you what my now 18 and 22 year old daughters remember.

  • They remember writing “fill in the blank” letters for Santa on Christmas Eve before they went to bed and waking up to the blanks filled in, not… that I didn’t have time to pick up the dry cleaning.
  • They remember sprinkling the front lawn with Magic Reindeer Food, (just red and green sprinkles mixed with oats), not… that my roots were gray.
  • They remember gambling with nickels and eating chocolate coins while playing dreidel (yes, we celebrate both), not… that the socks weren’t paired.
  • They remember things like warm cinnamon rolls (courtesy of Pillsbury) not… how clean the house was.
  • They remember sitting on the floor next to the tree giggling about which gifts were for who, not… that I burnt the beef wellington the night before.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Focus on what matters. Focus on what they will remember.

Switch gears. Start focusing on the small things that create magical memories, not on what you think others expect from you.

The word expectations defined, is a belief that someone will or should achieve something. During the holiday season, you should achieve something. But is what you expect to achieve, the right something?

Do yourself a favor; give yourself a gift. Give yourself the gift of no pressure.

The holidays, as delightful as they are meant to be, can bear heavy burdens on us. We are responsible for organizing family events, preparing menus, wrapping gifts, entertaining and so much more.

We also have our own memories of past holidays, both good and bad.

Some of our loved ones are still with us and some have past and some stimulate difficult feelings in us that we must navigate through, during the chaos we call the holiday season.

Just take a moment each day. Count your blessings. Savor the moment and for the love of all things pure – go get a massage!

Rock-n-roll-doulaAs a doula, business woman, international speaker, business coach and blogger, Randy Patterson strives to inspire women to find their inner wisdom and personal strengths. Randy associates her biggest personal successes, with her 25 year (and still going strong) marriage to her soul mate, Jerry and the two self-confident young women they raised together. Randy blogs for Kansas City Doulas, Northeast Doulas, Healthy Mama, Rosie Pope Maternity and more.