Our family vacation this year was amazing! Just the four of us. My husband Doug and I, our daughter Kate, and our son Ryan met in DC and drove to Toronto with several stops and side trips along the way. Our perfect vacation consisted of great meals, relaxing at beautiful outdoor cafés and bars, checking out amazing architecture and trendy areas, along with some really cool museums. It wasn’t so much what we did, but that we were together.
With Ryan’s final undergrad year at K-State, we are ready to once again get our purple on for football games and tailgating in the Little Apple, celebrate all his final year highlights, and wait to see what he chooses as his next step. We will have quick trips to DC throughout the year for events with Kate, sightseeing at now-familiar landmarks, or just having some time to hang out.
This is the best stage ever for our family.
But as much as I love this amazing place where we are now, I don’t want to overlook the years when Kate was at Mizzou and Ryan was “home alone” with Doug and me. We balanced his events – cross country meets, rugby, robotics and more – with short trips to CoMo (Columbia, MO) for football games, ChiO events, or just to see our girl. We did holiday trips to bowl games, decked out in black and gold. We cherished the time when Kate came home, and we were all together.
That was the best stage ever for our family. At that time.
While those were great times, there were also those years when both kids were living at home, high school and middle school events at two different schools filling every spot on the family calendar. Lots of friends hanging out, one kid and their pals in the family room, and one claiming the downstairs. Ball games, practices, drill team, band, dance, orchestra, rugby, homework . . . we passed each other coming and going. We were always trying to fit in family dinner and some time to stay caught up every day.
When we were in it, that was the best stage in life for our family.
Before we experienced high school, we faced middle school and elementary together. We had no teen driver to help out, so two parents, one traveling a lot for work, tried to get kiddos dropped off, picked up, or moved to another activity, drove carpools, took them to sleepovers, and back home for homework. Our nights and weekends were consumed with ball games, dance competitions, practices, church volunteering, orchestra, and handbell rehearsals.
That was the best stage of our lives then.
And there was the short time when both of our kiddos were in elementary school together. It involved dropping them off and watching big sister make sure her little brother made it safely to his destination. There was one pick up and one drop off, after-school clubs, sports, dance, cello lessons, Tae Kwon Do, piano, activities at the school and making sure there was a little family time each day.
Those were great years and the best stage for our family during that time.
Before our kiddos shared an elementary school, that was solely Kate’s domain, and Ryan got to spend his days divided between preschool and home with me. On his preschool days, I filled my time with errands and lunches with friends. On his off days, he and I had great adventures after we dropped Kate off at school and before we took our place in the pick-up line a few hours later. When we picked her up, she regaled us with stories of the world of elementary school. In and around both of their schedules, we had activities and play dates, sports, gymnastics, dance, working on the basics of Tae Kwon Do and learning what it means to have homework. Working around activities and early bedtimes, we tried to make family time in the evenings a high priority.
Those growing years made up the best stage of our life to that point.
When Kate was four, we added baby Ryan. He was beautiful and funny, with so much personality. Kate was crazy about him from the first time she saw him, and he loved to watch her every move and was never happier than when Kate was paying attention to him. They were each other’s biggest fan. When she wasn’t at preschool or one of her beginner activities, they spent their days entertaining each other and forming an amazing sibling bond. We loved spending our free time just watching them and spending time as a family.
That stage of life was the best we had ever known.
Prior to adding Ryan to the family, it was just Kate getting all our attention. She was our practice kid, our first attempt at parenting. She loved to snuggle and never wanted to be put down. Lucky for us, she was easy and willing to forgive our mistakes. All our free time was spent marveling over this child of ours.
We couldn’t imagine anything better – it was the best stage of our life so far.
Yep, it’s true, all of those stages were the best stage of our life, but then along came another stage and it was even better. There are times when I look back and long for the old days, pictures on the first day of school, having to pick up and drop off kids at activities, a house packed with teenagers, schedules packed with games and dance performances, even the late-night laundry to have a uniform ready for the next day. But the truth of the matter is, as much as I miss all of that and the kids Kate and Ryan were, nothing compares to spending time talking, laughing and hanging out with the adults they have become.
Without a doubt, this is the very best stage of our life, but I know this isn’t the end. So, moms, enjoy each stage and grieve a moment for every one as it ends. Then look ahead, because there is another great stage coming and you cannot even begin to imagine what is in store. I’m pretty sure it will be the best stage of your life. Until the next one.
