At the end of each day, I ask myself three little questions. I take advantage of those rare moments of silence before I fall asleep to reflect on my actions and lessons learned throughout the day. I ask myself these three little questions because they keep life, and my place in it, in perspective.
Did I make someone’s day better?
Did I hurt anyone in any way?
What did I learn?
Did I make someone’s day better?
There have been days that I’ve wondered, my life so over-scheduled that I wonder what positive impact I could have possibly made in shuttling kids to and from practice, running into the grocery store to pick up another gallon of milk, and engaging in the regular debate with boys about showering and the need to actually use soap. I then remember, that it’s all about perspective. I did make someone’s day better by being the constant presence in their lives; I made two little boys’ lives better by making sure that their days are filled with education, exercise, and more hugs than they can stand. And, my attention to detail in our crazy chaotic lives makes my husband’s life better because he doesn’t have to worry about it all – he can focus on the forest while I focus on the trees.
This little question also makes me more mindful of how I treat those around me. That car that swerved across lanes in the Target parking lot and almost hit my car? It was driven by an old woman who smiled at me apologetically. I like to think that I made her day a little better by smiling in return, a horn too often honked in similar situations that would have made her feel worse about her mistake. That family with seven kids in front of us in the concession line at the movie theater? The teenage daughter looked at me embarrassed, her younger siblings insisting on ordering each of their jumbo pretzels separately as they took turns walking up to the counter. I could have been annoyed, but the few previews that my kids would miss before Kung Fu Panda weren’t worth making this young girl feel more embarrassed about things out of her control. I simply smiled and let her know it was okay.
Did I hurt anyone in any way?
We’re all guilty of it sometimes; we speak before we think. We jump to conclusions. We plant our feet firmly in our shoes instead of imagining what it’s like to wear others.’ By asking myself this question every day, I hold myself accountable. If I acted rashly; if I believe that I made an negative impact on someone’s life based on some thoughtless action or word, I figure out what to do to remedy the wrong and make things right again. In those quiet moments at the end of the day, I own up to my mistakes and fall asleep knowing how to resolve them.
What did I learn?
Lessons in life are abundant if we’re willing to learn them. The woman in the Target parking lot? She taught me the value of compassion. My crazy boys? I am constantly learning the beauty of patience by the need to answer questions asked five different ways. Despite being so tired that my eyelids hurt, I’ve learned that it’s worth staying up to talk with my husband about life, the time reconnecting and solidifying our marriage so much more valuable than a few more hours of sleep.
As a writer of articles, books, and blogs, I have the potential to make people’s life better – or worse – with every word that I write. I can educate, or I can preach. I can inform, or I can offend. I can write in a sensitive way, or I can be sensational in my word choice. By choosing to educate, inform, and express myself in a way that’s sensitive to others and their opinions, I like to think that I make readers’ days a little bit better. If not, I certainly aim not to make their days worse. Three little questions that hold me accountable to the rule of life that I strive to reinforce in my kids – be kind.
