Do you ever think about what kinds of memories your kids will carry with them their entire lives? What will stick with them forever, and what will fade away like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future? My kids are 7 and 9 years old. Their brains are definitely developed enough that things are sticking. But which memories are stuck?
When I think back on my childhood, some of my most vivid memories are not the things you might expect. It’s not necessarily the amazing vacations my parents planned or the birthday parties they threw for me. I haven’t forgotten those things, it’s just that some more random moments seem to have implanted themselves in my brain and, like Baby Shark (doo doo doo doo) (you’re welcome), won’t go away.
The time the red-headed kid asked me at recess why I had so many freckles…. The time I was asked to stand up at a PTA meeting and tell the crowd what my mom did as treasurer of the PTA (I was sure everyone was laughing at me when I said that she put money in the bank, and I didn’t think she took it back out again.)…. The time my friend and I tried to make bikinis out of construction paper and tape…. And so many more little moments.
What everyday moments like these will my kids remember? Or will it be the big things, like our trip to London to visit their cousins, or the time we went to Disney World? Or will they just remember the time some kid said something mean to them, or that night I made them eat all those gross brussels sprouts? Will they remember the gorgeous day at the lake, or just the fight we had about putting on sunscreen?
My husband and I try to fill our kids’ days with a lot of family time and a lot of love. They still get their fair share of screen time, and obviously we have our ups and downs like all families. But we hope they remember roasting s’mores over the fire, telling jokes around the dinner table, going on long bike rides, playing hide-and-seek with their friends in the neighborhood, and going out for just-because ice cream—not the time(s) their parents lost their cool and snapped at them about something.
Thinking about my own memories is a good reality check for me when it comes to special events with my kids. I am not one to stress about baking Pinterest-perfect holiday treats together or planning a bunch of themed summer crafts. I don’t think my kids will remember the 4th of July more fondly if I make an American-flag fruit tray and lovingly craft bald eagles out of toilet paper rolls and felt. I’d rather focus on the day-to-day events, like making sure we have family dinner together and reading together each night before bed. Those are the things I want them to remember when they look back at their childhoods.
Or maybe in this age of social media and digital everything, my kids won’t have to remember anything at all because their whole lives will be in the cloud somewhere. But that’s a topic for another day.
