When You’re the Mom with the Screaming Toddler

We were boarding a flight this summer and the sound echoed the terminal, a small child was having a meltdown. You could almost see the worry in the faces of the people waiting to board their plane. Secretly hoping that child wasn’t going to be on their plane. We soon began lining up for boarding and I realized that child was, in fact, going to be on our plane.

As we all waited until it was our turn to board, I noticed the looks being exchanged by the middle-aged couple traveling with their grown daughter. They were not happy about the toddler having a meltdown being on our plane. As we sort of chatted while we waited, the man said something along the lines of “someone needs to get that kid under control or this is going to be a long flight.”

Six years ago, shoot… even three years ago I would have totally agreed and engaged in the discussion about the child. Duh, any child having a complete meltdown must be a result of poor parenting and discipline.

In fact, it’s very much the opposite of what I thought. I smiled at the man and simply said, “if you think it’s going to be long flight for you, imagine how that mom is going to feel.”

You see, I know now, because I am the mom of the screaming toddler. I’m ashamed to admit how little I knew back then about parenting the screaming toddler.

Here’s what I’ve learned: It will bring you to the brink of exhaustion, make you question everything you thought you knew, second guess your parenting abilities, and bring you to your knees in utter defeat. You’ll want to cry, and you’ll find yourself apologizing… a lot. 

Ours is our middle child. Some might call this a classic case of middle child syndrome. Reaching out for attention any way he possibly can. What I’ve learned is that he likes to have choices, do things himself. He likes to explore and learn for himself. He doesn’t want to sit still, like ever. Except for when he’s sleeping. And I’m OK with embracing who he is. We’re learning to parent differently with each child (who knew that was a thing?) and especially our middle. He’s making us better.

So to the mama (or daddy) with the screaming toddler in the grocery store, in the restaurant, the library, maybe even Target…I’ve been there. It’s hard. You feel like you’re losing a never ending battle. Like people are judging you, assuming you’re a terrible parent. I see you and I’ll  probably walk by and smirk or smile at you because I know…like a secret signal telling you, “I’ve got one too,” and “I know how it feels.” I hope you’ll do the same for me when you come upon us having a rough day. It’s OK, you’re doing the best you can and that’s more than enough. I won’t judge you, I know you’re not a terrible parent. Actually, I think you’re a pretty fantastic parent.

We’ve just got too much stuff to deal with as parents to worry about what we’re doing and how other parents are perceiving it. I’m sorry. Yes, this is my circus and these are my monkeys, and I’m too busy trying to raise good and decent humans to be concerned about how my strong-willed two year old is affecting your perfect little bubble.

In our house, we refer to our middle one as the Sour Patch Kid. Have you seen the commercials? First they’re sweet, then they’re sour! He will bring you to the edge of your patience and just as you’re about to throw in the towel he’ll flash his million dollar cheesy smile, dimples and all – and all of a sudden you’re a pile of mush.

Anna
Anna was born and raised in Kansas City and is a graduate of MidAmerica Nazarene University. She is married to her college sweetheart and BFF, Ryne, who are both educators. They live in Olathe with three littles; Hudson (5), Lincoln (2), and Charlee (9 months) and their two dogs; Kindle and Lucy. Life is chaotic and crazy. But she’s learning to embrace the chaos. When she’s not doing her teacher thing, Anna enjoys just hanging with her people, shopping, antiquing/DIY, decorating, and working on her dream of having her own blog. Anna loves jumping on the trampoline with her boys, eating Mexican food, dating her husband, drinking wine, Restoration Emporium, and being with her friends and family.