Will My Marriage Survive the Coronavirus?

“Well, I sure hope we like each other!”

That’s what my husband half-jokingly said to me last week as he walked in the house after what would likely be both our last days working in our respective offices.  

My response?

“Sooooo…do you want to go to the liquor store? Or should I?”

We laughed in the moment. Then I dashed out the door as he yelled behind me, “By the way… there’s no budget during a quarantine!”   

As I was driving home from my stock-up excursion, a bit of panic began to set in as I started to process what would likely be our new reality.  

Both of us home.  

Both of us working.  

Both of our kids at home as well.

My anxiety started to creep in and I shot a text to my friend, ‘I’m not sure my marriage will survive the coronavirus!’

I worry we’ll hate each other by the end of this. Kudos to you if you’re excited about that extra time with your hubby. As for me? I’m terrified.  

I’m terrified for my sanity.  

I’m terrified for my already short patience.  

I’m terrified of not fulfilling my job duties as expected. 

I’m terrified of being pulled in multiple directions at once and not having the energy to exert much in any of them.  

I’m terrified of being the worst possible version of myself, and the destruction it may cause on my marriage, and on my family.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I’m a believer. I miss my kids when I’m away on travel. I miss them when I’m at work all day and they are off at school and daycare. I feel like that time apart allows me to re-set my patience meter, and be a pretty okay-est mom.  

In the same sense, I gain more appreciation for my husband when he’s away, or when I’m extra busy at work and he steps up his already strong dad game. We do not thrive when we feel smothered. Our marriage benefits from a little “spousal distancing” every now and then.

Without some separation, like we typically get during the work week, I worry we’ll start to resent one another over dumb, everyday things. I worry we’ll resort back to immature criticisms in times when we’re both pushed to our max.  

Our marriage is nearing the 10-year mark. I know marriage is not supposed to be easy, it has ebbs and flows. Hills and valleys. I worry about the valley this may cause, and the work that will be involved to get back up that hill after this is all over.

Now that China is seeing a slow down in COVID cases, and people are being let out of quarantine, they have reported an uptick in divorces. I can only imagine there will be a similar aftermath here.  

I just hope we all come out of this as Coronavirus survivors, and not part of a divorce statistic.

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Stephanie lives in Shawnee with her husband and two crazy redheaded children, Jack (7) and Allison (4). When she’s not working full time as an aviation meteorologist, or trying to stop her kids from fighting, she enjoys running, knitting, attempting to bake, cheering on the Huskers (#GBR!), and catching up on her DVR. You'll often find her dragging her kids and husband to breweries around KC in search of the best IPAs the city has to offer. You can follow her day-to-day snippets on Instagram (@stephavey).