Note: This post is the first in our three-part “Labor of Love” series. Join us for more from Bridget next week!
“Pregnant again?”
“Yes, we know how this is happening” – but thanks, fifty-something-year-old man in the produce aisle that just made me extremely uncomfortable. Yes, I am thirty-seven weeks and five days pregnant with my third boy.
A BOY! And the ultrasound tech was positive, too, because I required four different angled shots of his little private. 🙂 “Honey, it’s sure not going to change no matter how many different angled shots we get.” But I knew it deep down. I knew I would be a dynasty’s dream. Both of my grandmas had three boys in a row; so did my mom and one of my sisters. I grew up taking care of three little brothers, so I really didn’t know any other way. Boys were in my future, for sure! Minutes after announcing the news to my family, I received a text from my brother which said “I’m so excited! Just think of how much fun mom had raising three boys in a row!” I had to stop myself from thinking about it, because I honestly don’t remember her eating or sleeping much during that time.
One strange part about being pregnant with my third boy is watching people’s disappointed looks, hearing their sighs – even a few “I’m sorry”s. (Sometimes, they’ll try to recover with “trust me, boys are easier.”) Most of the time, those words are coming out of their mouths as one of my kids tackles the other one and screams “you’re not the boss of God!” (If that threat means anything, I have yet to figure it out.) Then, the well-meaning stranger will smile and slowly back away – often saying something about the teenage years and girls talking back. By this point, I typically can’t hear them because I’m trying to pull one kid off the other and get one of them in the shopping cart before they knock over an entire display of Cap’n Crunch.
I do appreciate their encouragement, though. The truth is, I love having boys. Most days, I love their energy and imaginations: the way they actually believe they’re Spiderman or can transform into Optimus Prime. There aren’t many boring moments at our house! And while I’m not completely naive to the ways of little girls after working in a preschool for three years, my image of them has always been one of them wearing tutus and coloring all day long.
My time spent working in a preschool also taught me that I am easily manipulated and that I would be a girl’s dream for a mother! Picture this: my son Cooper, age 2, in a shopping cart …
Cooper: I want to go to the park.
Me (not thinking because I’m looking at my grocery list, then repeating what he said): You want to go to the park?
Cooper: Oh … sure!
… like it was my idea! And then I was completely confused on whether it was my idea or not – and of course, we ended up at the park.
And just like that, I would be at a piercing salon, watching the daughter I don’t have get her belly button pierced. I know boys can do the same thing – manipulate, I mean. I just don’t think they’re as good at it! They do, however, raise the bar in photo-bombing, de-pantsing, farting, breaking their toys, breaking their bones, etc. I am ertain that God knew my need for a little drama in my life which is why He gave me boys. 😉
The constant questions – “did you want a girl?” and “will you keep trying?” – often leave me not knowing what to say … as if all three times we got leftovers when we really wanted the entree. I cringe sometimes thinking that the little one inside my womb can hear all of this talk! He hasn’t even been born yet, and already there is talk of how we might get that pair of X’s to line up next time around. I don’t want my boys to ever think they were our second choice, that we would have been more satisfied if our family were any other way.
I love to sit back and picture my husband as a little boy, shooting his pretend spiderweb and saying things like “look at my muscles!” Boys grow up to be men, husbands, dads; and as their mother, I get to be a part of teaching them to be kind, sacrificial, honest, trustworthy, responsible, and loving towards others. I hope moms of boys will read this and be encouraged that we get to be the ones to show them to be tough, but also to be tender. I do wish it was easier for us to look past the huge display of baby girl’s clothing and sweet baby doll toys; I hope we can turn those longings into the joy of knowing that we are raising men to one day love and care for those precious little girls. Our responsibility is a privilege – one that we can enjoy as we sort through action figure t-shirts and superhero light-up shoes.
As I waited in anticipation for my first and second, I am now waiting to hold my next special addition to the family: my third son. In the meantime, I am posting all of my Barbies and American Girl dolls on eBay and treasuring the fact that everyone in my house thinks they are stronger than me.
This makes me smile. I have two boys, and I’d take two more. When we told people we were having twins, lots if people wanted to know if we were hoping for one if each. But, honestly..I wanted two boys from the get-go.
Can’t wait to read next week!
I always wanted boys too! Bugs and dirt never gross me out (but sometime I panic when walking through the makeup aisles). Thanks Cali!
Haha! I love it! I always pictured myself as a mother of boys – and somehow, here I am with three – THREE! girls and one lonely boy. 🙂 If you had all girls ppl would shake their heads and apologize for that too. Good article.
So true about people’s comments on even having girls. I guess they will always have their opinions on genders.
I love your perspective! Thanks for sharing, Bridget!
Thanks for reading it Rebecca:)
I am due with boy #3 next month and I coukd have written this myself! I constantly get the “so are you going to try for a girl?” remarks and I’m finding them more and more annoying. Why can’t three, five, or thirty boys be good enough??? I love my boys and you’re right, there is never a boring moment in our house 🙂
Sarah,
Our stories sound so similar! I’m getting more and more excited to watch three boys interact with each other. Hope every thing goes well next month and you bring home a happy and healthy little boy!
good post Bridget!