You know the drill: dance on Monday, baseball and gymnastics on Tuesday, basketball on Wednesday, art club and choir on Thursday… and so on. Youth activities have completely turned families upside down. So many stigmas and so. much. money. I woke up one day and realized I might be pushing sports because of all of MY efforts! For all the wrong reasons I was continuing to pack our schedule because darn it, I paid a lot of money and have been sitting here for hours, and my butt fell asleep 45 minutes ago!
I found myself realizing that by sitting at all of their sports events and practices, I had made friends. I loved the ladies I was sitting at the gym with. I was building a new mom community, and not just there at all of my kids’ sports. I was become vested. I had a color coded schedule that would rival all others! My mom game was on point! I knew when we needed to be places, when tuition and league fees were due. I knew what stores carried specific sports products at the cheapest prices. I could tell you the fastest route from the gym to the baseball fields. Every car we owned was equipped with stadium seat cushions, water bottles, extra clothes, snacks and first aid kits. I put a lot of effort into these sports and activities.
Then toward the end of one season when it was time to learn whose daughters had leveled up, I realized my mom friends and I might not be together anymore. Almost simultaneously, my son said he wasn’t sure about basketball. How dare he after we’d made so many fun memories in the stands with the other parents and come to know and love each of the boys on his team? My husband was deflated. All the hours they’d spent practicing and working through drills seemingly for nothing now. My color coding was becoming obsolete, and my friends were going to disappear.
Then we stopped and asked, “Are we actually doing youth sports for them or are weforcing the issue because WE put a lot of work into it?”
I don’t want to be THAT mom reliving her dance memories by doing the dance in the audience while my daughter is up on stage. I don’t want my husband to relive his glory days by yelling profusely from the sidelines at a 10 year old’s baseball game. Just because I never learned to play the piano, doesn’t mean I have to force my kids to play. These sports and activities aren’t for us; they are for THEM.
So we learned we had to quit taking it personal when our kids didn’t want to do something we did as a kid. We quit taking it personal when our schedule didn’t go the way we wanted, but was driven by their activities. And we quit taking it personal by ending our thinking that someday they will get (insert coveted scholarship or draft pick), and we would get our pay back.
Our payback is in their enjoyment and love of the game. Our payback is in the self motivation we see from them practicing at home. Our payback has been watching them enjoy sitting in the stands and cheering each other on. Our payback is watching them grow in their work ethic, dedication and victories. As well as their willingness to accept defeat, struggle, loss and teamwork.
Youth activities, not FOR me… do them or don’t. I’m going to let my KIDS do the playing!
