Hi sis, I’ve been meaning to write this letter to you for a while now. I’m going to try to get through it without crying, but no guarantees on that. As I get older I find myself more and more like your Nani, crying over everything; something you intuitively notice about her too. There are some things I want you to understand that I know I don’t always say. With the hustle and bustle of raising three daughters, life gets hectic ,and I need to do a better job of slowing down and letting you know just how special you are and how much you are loved.
I realize you didn’t ask to be the middle child. I know you’ve grow up too fast in order to keep up with your older sister. I’m sad that you missed out on being a little kid because you spent all of your time and effort competing with your older sister. I know some of this is just your competitive personality, but I also know that some of it is because you are the middle child and you fall somewhere in between a big kid and little kid. Some days it makes me wish your dad and I waited a bit longer to have you; to add more time between you and your sister, so you aren’t so darn competitive all the time.
You are so intuitive to others feelings, creative and wise beyond your years. Do you remember the phase when all you wanted to wear were swimsuit tops? Swimsuit tops in the middle of the winter with jeans seemed like a good option to you and you didn’t care that there was a blizzard outside. You were determined to wear that darn swimsuit top… with leggings and boots, of course, to stay warm.
Or, the time when you created homemade scarfs out of your t-shirts and wore them around your neck, bunched up and styled appropriately, of course. You did not care what anyone thought of you, and ignored my not so subtle attempts to persuade you to wear something else. You’ve always been a fashionista like that. Those phases rocked my control freak personality to its core. What if other mom’s were judging me for letting you wear a t-shirt around your neck?
But you know what, sis, you’ve taught me so much in your six years about letting go of what others think and not sweating the small stuff. You are uniquely you, and you make me want to be uniquely me. I realize now, that we need more people like you in this world. So often free spirited individuals are looked at as different or weird. I may have been one of those people, sweet girl, before you came around. Thank you for opening my eyes.
I realize I probably don’t say it enough, but I am so proud of you. I feel so much guilt that you don’t get to be the first to experience things like your big sister and you lose out on the sentimentality like your baby sister. I would imagine that’s a hard place to be, stuck somewhere in the middle. But I hope you learn that it’s amazing as well. You get the privilege of being both the older and younger sibling. (Remember that new shirt you go when your baby sister was born?) That experience alone is uniquely yours, one that your other siblings won’t experience. Being a middle child does not define you, sweet girl, but I do hope that it will teach you lessons in life far beyond the ones your dad and I can.
I know we butt heads often and sometimes my patience runs thin with you. Your strong will coupled with my control freak personality is sometimes a recipe for disaster. I want you to know that your stubbornness will take you far in life, and there will be MANY times in your life that I will be so thankful that you have an opinion. I am working on being a more patient parent because I realize that is what you need. Now, if we can just get you to stop negotiating bedtime every night. Your honesty is one of your best qualities, my dear, but always remember to be kind. Sometimes what you say becomes less important than how you say it if it’s not spoken with kindness. Continue to love big and fight hard for what you want in life, and don’t let anyone squash your dreams. Your dad and I can’t wait to see what you bring to this world, but honestly the world better watch out for you.
Lastly, I want you to know that just because you are sandwiched between your siblings and sometimes get the shaft on my attention, you are just as loved. You are one of a kind and I know you will do big things in life, sweet girl, and that nothing, not even being the middle child, will hold you back.
Love,
Mom
