Happy Mother’s Day! For you, this is your 36th Mother’s Day (I think, math is hard). For me, this is my first, and I have a lot I want to share with you as we celebrate this day together… even though right now, we’re apart.
First, I am sorry. I am sorry for all of the worry I caused you, all of the nights you laid awake wondering if I was okay in my crib, or the nights you stayed up on the couch waiting for me to come home from a friend’s house. I am sorry for all the doctor’s appointments you had to sit at when I was sick or hurt and you had to look strong even though I know now how much fear filled your heart. I am sorry for some of the mean and dumb things I have said to you over the years; I now know how much hurt that probably caused you. I am sorry for not listening to you and blowing off your advice even though now I know your wisdom was sound and true. When we’re young, we don’t realize that our parents aren’t trying to steal away the fun all the time, and now I know you were just protecting me.
Also, thank you. Thank you for being strong and making me feel as though everything will be okay. From getting my tonsils taken out and crying, to boys breaking up with me, and even through the stress of adulthood, you have always made sure I knew it would turn out okay and God is on my side.
Thank you for being my biggest fan in life. You are the first person I want to tell good news to because your excitement makes me feel like I accomplished so much, even if it is just the success of making a loaf of bread from scratch. Thank you for showing me how to be a strong, independent woman who can be successful and stand on her own two feet even when life throws me tough times. Thank you for answering my countess questions; whether it be cooking, parenting, relationships, or work, you always have advice and are up to talk through situations with me.
Thank you for loving me so unconditionally. You always told me I would never understand the love you had for me until I had my own child, and you were right (see above).
Lastly, there is no way I could ever repay you for the love you have given me, but I know that’s not what you want. Now that I have a child of my own, I understand it’s not something you owe your Mom. I’ve learned that what I want and need to give you is my time. All I want with my daughter is her time, and I have learned that there will never be enough of it. Sooner than I am willing to admit she will be ready to walk, and then going to school, and then driving, and I will slowly get less and less time with her. As she grows, I hope that one day she will also realize the love I have for her and begin to share her time with me again.
So Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you always and forever.