The day every little girl dreams of, her wedding day. This is the day you get your own Prince Charming, and the man you unite your life with. We take a commitment of “for better or worse,” “to love and to cherish all the days of my life.” But can that commitment be taken too far, and you become too attached to your mate?
When you look at marriage we see to individuals that are connected by love. They bring out the best in one another and make life fuller, brighter, and in a since complete. But an important factor I think we all forget is that we have to make sure we maintain our own unique individually. The common misconception of marriage is that once you are married you just become one unit. In some areas of marriage, that is true. It’s OK, though, to have some independence. To be honest, do you think your spouse would have married you if you were clingy right off the bat?
Motherly advice is priceless, and my mom gave me some of the best advice on my wedding day: “make sure you do four things as a wife, and you will enjoy your husband for years to come!”
1. Don’t forget to love your husband just as Jesus Christ has loved you.
2. Never go to bed angry, sad or upset.
3. Always find a way to laugh with him, and get into some of his hobbies.
4. Check on yourself, make sure you are loving you, pamper yourself, have something that is just for you.
That last piece of advice is what I needed most. If I am not OK as a woman how can I be a great wife or mom? There seems to be so many things that I need to do to make sure I don’t lose myself just because I said I do! My husband is great about me having some alone time. We both are honestly. He knows that when I am extra snippy with him or the kids, it’s time for me to have some me time.
I like to read my Bible, go out to lunch with my mom, get a pedicure – anything that will take my mind off family for one second, and breathe. That does make me a better version of me because I am able to relax. Being me is the most important thing I can give myself and my family. I know who I am as a woman, wife and mom, and that comes from not losing sight of myself when all the other things in my life were changing.
Having a partner is amazing! I love how he loves me, all he does for and with our family. We have created a life I am proud of, and that was hard work. But I know that if I ever have to stand on my own for whatever reason that is I can do it.
I have always kept that last piece of advice from my mom to check on myself, love myself, and pamper myself. I saw a quote the other day and it said, “Be a girl with a mind, a woman with attitude, and a lady with class.” To me, that is the new married independent woman.