Naming a child is a special responsibility not to be taken lightly. I definitely felt some pressure with that, but it comes with the territory. With our firstborn, my husband and I took quite a while to agree on a name. A name can come across as powerful and meaningful, but it can also come across as confusing or just plain weird. The tricky thing is, we all make name associations with people we’ve crossed paths with in life. We’ve probably all heard a name and instantly thought of the class clown, Mr. Nice Guy, a mean girl, or the smarty pants from high school.
Your name is part of your first impression. This is why there are numerous websites dedicated to providing lists of name options. Trust me, I’ve searched my share of websites for baby names. Every parent wants their kid to be looked upon favorably by name.
There is a naming tradition within my family. My siblings and I all have first names that begin with the letter “J”; my older sister continued this tradition with both my nieces. That makes six of us with “J” names. I had my firstborn’s name all picked out before I was even pregnant. It was obviously going to be a “J” name. Spoiler alert: That didn’t end up happening with either of my two kids.
My husband and I had many conversations about naming our children and decided to make our own traditions. Our kids are both Chinese and white, so it was important to us that both of their cultures were incorporated into their names. I was adamant that their names would reflect their biracial, Asian American identity. Their first names are in English, and their middle names are Chinese characters spelled out in English. Each of our kids also have a Chinese name in addition to their American name.
Chinese names carry more weight with their meanings than American names. The meanings are typically very poetic. Chinese names typically have three characters, with the first one being the surname and each remaining character having its own meaning. Together, all the characters need to make sense. Like myself, my kids’ Chinese names begin with my maiden name as their surname. With some biracially Chinese families, parents choose to translate American surnames into Chinese ones based on phonetic spelling. There wasn’t a phonetic translation of my husband’s last name that made sense in Chinese, so we decided to go with my Chinese maiden name.
Both my kids’ names were inspired by my grandpa who helped raise me for fourteen years. He passed before I was even married. My oldest’s Chinese name means “great blessing,” with his last character being identical to part of my grandfather’s own name. My youngest son’s Chinese name means “precious treasure.” Growing up, my grandfather’s nickname for me was to call me his treasure. The boys both share the same middle character in their Chinese names, which is a common practice among siblings.
It is so special to me that my children share part of my husband’s family name, my family name, and my grandfather’s name. My maiden name is shared with generations of people, tracing back to the Han Dynasty, who have made many contributions to society. My name is so important to me; I made it my legal middle name when I got married. I took my husband’s last name and made my maiden name my middle name. I did this because I felt sad that, on paper, my married name had no connection to my Asian culture. I wanted to preserve some of my heritage.
So what’s in a name? So much. Names matter. Names have roots and history. A name that is confusing or weird to one person, may be meaningful and of the utmost importance to another. Names can tell stories of families and of generations. Yes, name association is real. Some names might remind you of someone you looked upon unfavorably in high school. But some names might remind you of being Grandpa’s treasure.
