I’m not sure if it was the Easter sermon at our church or that I’ve been reading and listening to different sources that talk about it, but the search for contentment has been on my heart and mind lately.
I’m a self-help/motivational podcast junkie and sometimes I think I seek it out. You see, contentment was/is hard for me. It is something that I have to make a conscious effort to work at every single day. Of course, I love my husband and my kids, and I’m grateful for the life we’ve built, but I feel like I’m always working for more, and I’m not sure why.
Where is the line between being content with what I have, but also wanting more? That is my struggle.I’m an Enneagram 3, I’m an achiever by nature, and I am always looking to better myself and achieve my next goal. I’m sure that explains some of it. I sometimes fantasize about what my car will be when I don’t have small children dropping Goldfish and ice cream between the seats. Or I dream of the house we will buy on a huge plot of land so we can have a pool and a large yard to play in. I’ve had to reel myself in a bit and remind myself of all the good things I currently have.
I’ve learned that perspective is key to feeling content. I feel like I’m a pretty grounded person and can see through the filters to the reality, but I am constantly reminding myself that I cannot compare my life to someone else’s. It’s just not the same. But doesn’t Instagram make that so hard? Throw in the plot twist that I’m trying to grow a business and IG is important for that, and I feel like a hamster on a never-ending wheel of comparison.
Christy Wright has a Podcast called Business Boutique and her recent episode on How to Be Content in Every Situation spoke to me, so I thought I’d share a few takeaways from her and a few of my own as well in hopes that if you are struggling with contentment it will give you some strategies to help like it did for me.
- Control My Thoughts: I have to control my self-talk, especially when I’m scrolling the web. I’ve had to really focus on what others are doing better than me and make a conscious effort to use their perceived strengths to better myself and my business instead of letting it make me feel bad! It’s a mindset shift and it takes constant work. It’s OK for them to be successful and for me to be happy for their success while also wanting to immolate it and work hard from my own.
- Focus on What I Have: My husband and I have built a family we are proud of. We are doing our best to raise three tiny humans to be caring adults who contribute something to this world. I am thankful for our health but also thankful for the times we’ve faced scary health situations such as cancer and strokes, as it’s in these scary times that we’ve seen the power of God and community. Talk about putting things into perspective—face a life-threatening illness and that new house takes a back seat. We are building a business that has afforded us many luxuries that we wouldn’t have otherwise. I am thankful for that, but I know if all of that hard work was lost tomorrow I would still be thankful for that journey. I am thankful for the ability to reach students through teaching. I am changing lives every single day in my profession and that is important work. I’ve found that writing down these thoughts is helpful in reminding myself of the privileges we do have.
- Focus More on Others: I’m a people person. I love people, interacting and learning about their story. I’m an extrovert and I am energized by being around people. I have found that surrounding myself with people from all walks is life-giving to me. I don’t need more stuff in my life I need more people! I need people to learn from and to work with. There are a lot of icky things going on in this world and in people’s lives around me, and I need to show up for those people who need it.
- Simplify: People have been Marie Kondo’ing their lives since January and the phrase, “does this spark joy” is known around the globe. The fact that we have too much stuff and it’s affecting our happiness is no secret. When we simplify our lives from all the stuff we open space to breathe, to give, and to help people. And I’ve found that when I do those things, I feel so much contentment. Funny how that works out isn’t it?
We have more than we really need, and my kids have a wonderful life — much more than they need. The blessing of that is not lost on me. I will be more than OK if I don’t get the house on land and if we never open another business. We live in one of the most privileged societies in the world, yet we yearn for more. Kids don’t have food to eat, access to quality water or an education system, yet I’m spending hours on the internet looking up ideas for the perfect Easter basket. Tens of thousands of people die every day from hunger yet I’m worried about that next house. When I think of these true disparities in life it puts everything into perspective.
