Surviving a Slumber Party

My son recently turned nine years old. To celebrate, he invited three friends over for his first ever slumber party. We were going to take the kids to an arcade, feed them tons of pizza, and let them play hours upon hours of video games. I wasn’t that worried about having the boys over until all three sets of parents wished me good luck and told me I was brave to host this event. Did they know something I didn’t?

In the days leading up to the party, I fretted. I worried. I had anxiety-fueled sleepless nights. Visions of sugar-hyped lunatics going absolutely crazy filled my head. (Perhaps I should work on my stress-management skills?) Maybe you’ve got elementary-aged kids and are gearing up for their first slumber parties, too. Well, no fear, mama. I’ve got you covered. Let me tell you the tale of my son’s party and the things I learned along the way.

2 p.m.

The kids are set to come over any minute. I feel fairly ready. I rush-cleaned the kids’ bathroom to get rid of that weird smell (I’m sure the boys will all notice my efforts), and the fridge is full of soon-to-be-eaten food.

2:45 p.m.

The boys are all here, but they are in the backyard. We are supposed to be on our way to the arcade. What if they get hungry at the arcade? We can’t buy food there; we have pizzas and cookie cake to eat at home!

Have a plan, but be ready to adjust as you go. So what if the boys wanted to play outside for awhile when they arrived? So what if they wanted a snack? It would probably be smarter to eat the dessert in the afternoon anyway. Nobody wants a bedtime sugar rush, right?

3:40 p.m.

We made it to the arcade, fueled by adrenaline and cookie cake. Thank goodness we are planning to eat dinner at home because DANG those game cards are pricey. But hey, it’s a party! Might as well get a round of cokes, too. Treat yo self! And think of all the money we’re saving by not hosting 20 kids at a trampoline place or whatever.

Go with the flow and chill out. I don’t know about you, but arcades are not my favorite place to hang out. The NOISE. The CROWDS. ALL THE FLASHING LIGHTS. And did I mention THE NOISE? (Mom Tip: bring some ear plugs. Pretty sure I lost about 20 percent of my hearing in that place.) But this wasn’t about me dealing with sensory overload (or stressing about money), this was about my kid having fun with his friends.

6 p.m.

Pizza time! I bought ready-to-bake pizzas from Aldi because tasty + cheap = awesome. I cut them into more slices than normal so the kids will think they are eating more pizza. Why do boys always seem to brag about how many slices of pizza they can eat?

6:20 p.m.

Dinnertime went well. One guest even carried his plate over to the sink and threw away his napkin without being asked. Such nice manners!

8 p.m.

I am patting myself on the back. This party thing is not so hard after all! The boys are being kind and considerate of one another, and without my daughter here, they don’t have anyone to annoy.

Beg a friend to take your other kid(s) overnight. I got incredibly lucky that my daughter’s best friend invited her over the night of my son’s party. She definitely had more fun at her friend’s house than she would have had at ours, feeling left out of the boys’ fun.

8:03 p.m.

My husband gets a funny look on his face, then sort of doubles over and rushes to the bathroom. “I don’t feel so good,” he says.

9:30 p.m.

Andrew has been throwing up for over an hour. The boys are playing video games and they are no longer having fun. Lots of frustration. Lots of yelling and ganging up on one boy whose gaming skills apparently aren’t up to scratch. I’m seeing the early warning signs of a sugar crash and exhaustion. A door is slammed. A heart-to-heart with my son about being kind and considerate is had. The clock is checked. When will they go to bed?!?

10:15 p.m.

Andrew is still sick. I tell the boys it is time to start winding down. But uh oh… One boy is feeling all the feels. This is his first overnight, and he is missing Mom big time. Many tears. Desperately asks to go home. 

10:25 p.m.

His mom hasn’t returned my call or my text. It’s only been a few minutes but I’m feeling desperate. Think think think… I decide to try a distraction technique and get a book. I start reading. My son halfheartedly listens. One kid scoffs at me. One kid eagerly sits next to me to better see the book. And one kid continues to cry for his mom.

10:45 p.m.

Still no return call. I’m on my third book. Gradually, he has made his way down to the sleeping bag, finally lying silently, eyes shut. I read until I’m certain he is asleep. I text his mom again and tell her all is well, that he is calm and asleep.

Treat other kids the way you would treat your own kids. Sure, when I see the other third graders at school, they all seem pretty old and pretty tough. But these are still young people who sometimes need their moms. I was no substitute for his mom, but I hope listening to a story helped him feel calm and cared for nonetheless.

7 a.m.

My son and one friend are the early risers. I blearily drag myself off the couch (no way was I sleeping with Husband Sickie last night) and get breakfast prepped.

8:30 a.m.

All the kids are up. The sadness from last night is forgotten, which is a total relief. They eat eggs, bacon, and waffles (toaster waffles… I’m not Martha Stewart, people). I begin counting down the minutes until their parents will pick them up.

10:30 a.m.

Finally, the house is quiet. Too quiet… Ah, yes, time for me to pick up my daughter. Back to real life.

My final words of advice? Observe and listen when you can. These kids have fascinating things to say, and since you are just an adult with no purpose other than to feed them, you can be a real fly on the wall. It was a great peek into my son’s outside-home life and personality.

And of course, make your husband load up on probiotics and vitamins in the days weeks leading up to the party.